The Wandering Monkey

Day 7 of quitting smoking.
Month 6, approx week 3 in China.

These last two days have been very difficult. I don't know if it is the issue of nicotine withdrawl or not, but I have been feeling extremely down and at a lack of energy. I have so far not taken a cigarette, though. Last night I went out dancing and I found that even in the time so far my endurance has increased. I think that it's a matter of the lungs being able to take in more oxygen with each breath. The blood is supplied with that oxygen more easily and thus the body can continue longer without rest.

In other news, it does not look like I will take that job with the Chinese event management company. I was told before I came here that one does not want to work for a Chinese company. It is better to work for a foreign company working in China. I was told this was because foreign companies are better managed and your opportunities for success and your future are greater.

In any event, the salary offer for that Chinese company came in, and I'd be better off teaching English by far. So that's not a consideration anymore.

I just got back from Sashas, the new bar where we will be holding our swing dance night. We are on a 'try-it-and-see' basis for now. In the meanwhile we are keeping on good terms with our old club and looking for a new one as well. We've had the rug pulled out from us suddenly at least three times so far, and we don't want to be without a place to dance.

This week I interviewed four different people for language exchange, and I think I have decided on one. We are to meet once or twice a week for a hour or so to work on improving each others written and spoken language. This type of one-on-one has worked pretty well for me in the past. Plus, it's free of charge, so that's a good thing.

I have gone past the amount of money I intended to spend to scout out China. I am tapping into reserves that were ear-marked for my return upon the U.S. Not too deeply so far, but nontheless I'm on the warning track. I'm trying to find a job which will be exciting and pay reasonably well. There is always teaching English, but I am reserving that as a last resort. In a sense, teaching English is the lowest possible job that a foreigner will take. That is not to say the teachers aren't doing a good job, but it is true that anyone with a foreign face can get such a job merely by showing up.

After running my own company in the U.S., I am finding it difficult to adjusting to the idea of working for someone else's company. The swing dancing business does not appear viable for a income right now, and I need a side-line in the meanwhile.

On a personal note I am concerned about my energy level, though. People say I have lost some weight. Not so that it looks unhealthy, but I am concerned anyhow. I don't have much margin to lose weight. Plus, my level of energy has been flagging of late. I think that the stress of the new country plus the stress of running the swing dancing movement have added up some. I have not had a break since I arrived here, including Christmas and New Years. People keep on coming and going and so far I have not solidified any really good friends who also intend to stay in the country for the next year or two. Some quite good friends are going back to America very soon.

And, as before, my personality and that of my dance partner are very different. I still do not feel completely relaxed when I am around her. Things have improved significantly since we broke up the class in half, and each teaches his or her own students. Plus, we have divided up the responsibilities so that I can take charge of some events completly on my own and she do the same for other events. But nonetheless I think the personality differences are a major drain on my energy. I have done those things which I felt are necessary to keep the partnership in existance and keep her happy. But I am becoming unhappy, and I am unable to explain it to her in any way which will produce a change in her.

We both are needed and important to have the swing dance movement continue. This I believe. But I think that at this point we need to separate responsibilities as much as possible. As soon as it is feasible, I am going to try to get each of us different dance partners and each conduct our own classes at different times. There are many advantages to this. Our styles of dance mesh much better with other people than with each other. We've both acknowledged this. Plus, if we want the swing dance movement to continue, we need to hold more classes. Dividing up teaching in this way would improve many things.

So much for now. I will talk about this plan with my partner tonight. She's been sort of mulling with a similiar type of idea for a while, so I think it will work out alright.
Peace,
-J

Quitting smoking Day 5. So far so good.
I have needed almost constant distractions in order to feel ok. The class went alright this week. It was a difficult session for the students because we taught a lot of complicated moves (tandem charleston for me). But they stuck with it OK and we got two new students as well.
We are going to start charging for our once-a-month dance. It's a bit worrysome, to make sure we don't crash the dance scene. But if we dont charge for it we cant expect to continue doing it so many hours. We'll have to just stick primarily to our own jobs. It's sort of a test right now to see how it works.
One of my students has a pretty apparent crush on me. I talked it over with a friend, and I believe the best thing to do is not to bring it up at all. Just act normally and dont encourage it. Eventually the person should get the point.
And also, I gave my terms of employment to a local event company out here. We'll see what they counter-offer on Monday or Tuesday. I also ran into a General Manager of an e-commerce company yesterday. That's a good back up should I need a serious job. Not what I want to do necessarily, but there is a reality to the whole thing. It is a good idea to keep it open just in case.
-J

Day 3 of quitting smoking. I have noticed that it is not as much fun to play computer games at the Internet Cafes when you cannot smoke. It gets boring easily. Perhaps this was because the nicotine made it more interesting.
Last night was a little tricky. It was Friday night, and I went out to dinner and for drinks with friends. As such, everyone smokes, Chinese and expats alike. And every time they take out their pack, they offer you one, of course, out of friendship.
I did stay away from them that night, so good so far. I learned a new Mandarin phrase, "Wo bu chou yen", or "I do not smoke".
Today I am meeting with two people who may be potential Language Exchange partners. This is when two folks get together and agree to teach each other their language. I am talking with four different people and I will pick one, perhaps two, which works the best for me.

Day 1 of quitting smoking. Damn! I cannot concentrate and I am fidgety and short-tempered.
Of course I am like this a lot normally, so one cannot imply causation!

I just got news this morning that Frankie Manning, the original Lindy Hopper, has expressed interest in coming to China in October of this year. For those who do not know, he was one of the creators of Lindy Hop back when it began in the Savoy Ballroom in New York City in the 1920's.
If he comes, then we would have world-wide attention. OMFG!!!!!

Today I was walking around my housing complex. It is an older-style Chinese neighborhood, with at least 10 apartment buildings, all about 5 stories tall. There are four exits to the streets, and at each there is a gate, so it is a little private even though I am in the heart of downtown.

I took a different way out than usual, and I walked past a little shop selling food, like an outdoor restaurant. I speak very little Mandarin -- only enough to say 'hello' and 'my Mandarin is very poor." But the food was all laid out, so all I really needed to do was point and say "One of this" or "three of this." I had breakfast there, and it was pretty good. It cost four quai, which is 50 cents. I had a light breakfast, and I felt fine during the day. (Sometimes you have to make sure a new place will not make you ill.) So, I had dinner there as well before dance class tonight. Not bad! Breakfast and dinner for one dollar total. I think I will be coming there a lot.
-J

This past week has been a bit trying for me. There are times when I wake up and say, "What am I doing out here?" Last week, most every day was like that.

I knew my passport was about to expire. I thought I had until the end of February to take care of it. So, I checked the expiration date, and I found out that it expired in three days! For a moment I thought I would have to leave the country. The simplest solution is to fly to Hong Kong and have it renewed there. But that would be expensive and a bit difficult. We are teaching a dance workshop on Friday, we have a Valentine's charity dance on Saturday, and Sunday is our usual classes. It was not a good time to leave. Fortunately I am sorting it out now without having to leave the country. I am getting some documentation from a friend's company stating I am interviewing to work with them, and this will extend the visa. I am going to take on the position of Business Development Manager for an event management company. It's not a bad job, and the people are OK. It will also give me flexible enough hours to continue my swing dancing.

That was one thing. I guess in a way I am also wondering about my future with regards to eventually finding the right woman and all of that. There are many interesting people to meet out here, but I don't think I'll be staying past a year or so. That makes me nervous to get involved with anyone local. Plus, to be frank, most of the local girls I have met are really not that interesting in the long-term. Many have an adolescent naivite. Many are out and out mercenary. And I think of the time it takes to build up a relationship. I'm not the type of person who can just jump into something (not anymore, that is.) It takes me about a year to develop any serious fondness for someone. And it is such a gamble, because a year goes by and if that particular thing did not work you're back at the beginning. But I suppose this is something that everyone must deal with.

I think perhaps that when my lease on my apartment is up I should try to find some decent people and get a new place with roommates. Although they can be inconvenient sometimes, I really think that under the circumstances it would be better to have some more people around. Sometimes you don't feel like going out, but you really want to talk to someone, you know?

I have also been wondering about some people I left behind back in San Francisco. There was one unexplored relationship which has been on my mind a lot for the last week. I was thinking, that's the test of if a person is significant to you or not. Do you still think about them when they are no longer around in your daily life? Do you still think about them for months afterwards, even though you are away, far away, in a completely different place?

I know I had to get out of the Bay Area. Even when I was still there, I thought to myself, I could try to something new. I could try to get involved with someone new, and I think I could be quite happy with that. But it would not solve the other issues I was dealing with. Unhappy with my career, very unhappy with the cost of housing. No distinct future. So that leaves a life with a very imporant girl and not much else. In a way I was concerned about creating something like that. If the relationship, for whatever reason, does not work out, there's not much left to fall back upon. But still, completely unexpected, I wake up some mornings and think about that one unexplored avenue. Wonder if I had taken it, how would my life be now?

In Shanghai, I have met a lot of people. So many people, in fact, that I can't remember them all. I will sometimes start talking to someone, blah blah blah, and ask them their name. Then they look at me funny and say, We just met last week. I feel very embarassed and out of place. But I really do meet so many folks. On an active social week, I can meet 100 folks between dancing and just socializing. Of those, 90 I will not see again. I just can't remember everyone.

To work on this, I have started taking notes of people's names when I get home. How I met them, who I met them through. And, oddly, I am trying to meet fewer people. I don't go through introductions as much. I may meet folks but I don't get too personal until it seems like we may end up hanging out together. That seems a little counter-intuitive. Maybe that's not the best approach!

Anyhow, this week I am feeling a bit better.

Peace all,
Jim

Today I met with the guys who set up the Paramount Christmas Ball. It seems like an ideal place to rent out for the Shanghai Lindy Exchange. The guys who organized it are very much on the ball and they seem like they could handle the task. There's a lot to consider on this one. This is a really big project. At the moment we are in the investigation phase. Trying to find out how much things will cost, what is needed, who is interested, and how much people would be willing to pay for the whole package. We want to make the whole thing affordable.

It is very cold in Shanghai. I'm ready for the winter to end. This city has a lot of good things, but the weather is not one of them. Winter hovers around freezing just about all of the time.

I have met a great number of people out here. Pretty much every night you go out you can count on getting to know three or four new people at least. I'm having trouble remembering everybody, especially names. I think it would be a good idea to take some sort of notes or try a memory technique.

The swing dance class is going well. My dance partner and I are splitting up teaching now, and really it's working better than it ever has before. It's a lot of fun, too. We used to have a lot of problems with advanced and beginning students in the same lesson. The more experienced dancers were getting bored, and sometimes the new students were learning things that were just too complicated. So now my partner takes the new students with East Coast Swing and I take our older students with Lindy Hop. Then, we all get together at the end of class and have a 'show-and-tell' of sorts when anyone in the class can show a new move or offer tips and such. Finally, at the end we all dance the Shim Sham, which is a 'swing-culture line dance.' The students are really loving it, and it's a lot more fun, too.

I have still not landed a teaching job yet. I need to get one for some amount of cash flow and for visa status. I guess I'm really not looking forward to it because I think it will distract my attention from the dancing. But I really don't have much choice in the matter. I need to get some sort of job and this one is probably the best for the time being.

My ayi (maid) is working out very well. My house is clean and there are always groceries in the fridge.

All for now.
-J