The Wandering Monkey

This past week has been a bit trying for me. There are times when I wake up and say, "What am I doing out here?" Last week, most every day was like that.

I knew my passport was about to expire. I thought I had until the end of February to take care of it. So, I checked the expiration date, and I found out that it expired in three days! For a moment I thought I would have to leave the country. The simplest solution is to fly to Hong Kong and have it renewed there. But that would be expensive and a bit difficult. We are teaching a dance workshop on Friday, we have a Valentine's charity dance on Saturday, and Sunday is our usual classes. It was not a good time to leave. Fortunately I am sorting it out now without having to leave the country. I am getting some documentation from a friend's company stating I am interviewing to work with them, and this will extend the visa. I am going to take on the position of Business Development Manager for an event management company. It's not a bad job, and the people are OK. It will also give me flexible enough hours to continue my swing dancing.

That was one thing. I guess in a way I am also wondering about my future with regards to eventually finding the right woman and all of that. There are many interesting people to meet out here, but I don't think I'll be staying past a year or so. That makes me nervous to get involved with anyone local. Plus, to be frank, most of the local girls I have met are really not that interesting in the long-term. Many have an adolescent naivite. Many are out and out mercenary. And I think of the time it takes to build up a relationship. I'm not the type of person who can just jump into something (not anymore, that is.) It takes me about a year to develop any serious fondness for someone. And it is such a gamble, because a year goes by and if that particular thing did not work you're back at the beginning. But I suppose this is something that everyone must deal with.

I think perhaps that when my lease on my apartment is up I should try to find some decent people and get a new place with roommates. Although they can be inconvenient sometimes, I really think that under the circumstances it would be better to have some more people around. Sometimes you don't feel like going out, but you really want to talk to someone, you know?

I have also been wondering about some people I left behind back in San Francisco. There was one unexplored relationship which has been on my mind a lot for the last week. I was thinking, that's the test of if a person is significant to you or not. Do you still think about them when they are no longer around in your daily life? Do you still think about them for months afterwards, even though you are away, far away, in a completely different place?

I know I had to get out of the Bay Area. Even when I was still there, I thought to myself, I could try to something new. I could try to get involved with someone new, and I think I could be quite happy with that. But it would not solve the other issues I was dealing with. Unhappy with my career, very unhappy with the cost of housing. No distinct future. So that leaves a life with a very imporant girl and not much else. In a way I was concerned about creating something like that. If the relationship, for whatever reason, does not work out, there's not much left to fall back upon. But still, completely unexpected, I wake up some mornings and think about that one unexplored avenue. Wonder if I had taken it, how would my life be now?

In Shanghai, I have met a lot of people. So many people, in fact, that I can't remember them all. I will sometimes start talking to someone, blah blah blah, and ask them their name. Then they look at me funny and say, We just met last week. I feel very embarassed and out of place. But I really do meet so many folks. On an active social week, I can meet 100 folks between dancing and just socializing. Of those, 90 I will not see again. I just can't remember everyone.

To work on this, I have started taking notes of people's names when I get home. How I met them, who I met them through. And, oddly, I am trying to meet fewer people. I don't go through introductions as much. I may meet folks but I don't get too personal until it seems like we may end up hanging out together. That seems a little counter-intuitive. Maybe that's not the best approach!

Anyhow, this week I am feeling a bit better.

Peace all,
Jim