The Wandering Monkey

Day 7 of quitting smoking.
Month 6, approx week 3 in China.

These last two days have been very difficult. I don't know if it is the issue of nicotine withdrawl or not, but I have been feeling extremely down and at a lack of energy. I have so far not taken a cigarette, though. Last night I went out dancing and I found that even in the time so far my endurance has increased. I think that it's a matter of the lungs being able to take in more oxygen with each breath. The blood is supplied with that oxygen more easily and thus the body can continue longer without rest.

In other news, it does not look like I will take that job with the Chinese event management company. I was told before I came here that one does not want to work for a Chinese company. It is better to work for a foreign company working in China. I was told this was because foreign companies are better managed and your opportunities for success and your future are greater.

In any event, the salary offer for that Chinese company came in, and I'd be better off teaching English by far. So that's not a consideration anymore.

I just got back from Sashas, the new bar where we will be holding our swing dance night. We are on a 'try-it-and-see' basis for now. In the meanwhile we are keeping on good terms with our old club and looking for a new one as well. We've had the rug pulled out from us suddenly at least three times so far, and we don't want to be without a place to dance.

This week I interviewed four different people for language exchange, and I think I have decided on one. We are to meet once or twice a week for a hour or so to work on improving each others written and spoken language. This type of one-on-one has worked pretty well for me in the past. Plus, it's free of charge, so that's a good thing.

I have gone past the amount of money I intended to spend to scout out China. I am tapping into reserves that were ear-marked for my return upon the U.S. Not too deeply so far, but nontheless I'm on the warning track. I'm trying to find a job which will be exciting and pay reasonably well. There is always teaching English, but I am reserving that as a last resort. In a sense, teaching English is the lowest possible job that a foreigner will take. That is not to say the teachers aren't doing a good job, but it is true that anyone with a foreign face can get such a job merely by showing up.

After running my own company in the U.S., I am finding it difficult to adjusting to the idea of working for someone else's company. The swing dancing business does not appear viable for a income right now, and I need a side-line in the meanwhile.

On a personal note I am concerned about my energy level, though. People say I have lost some weight. Not so that it looks unhealthy, but I am concerned anyhow. I don't have much margin to lose weight. Plus, my level of energy has been flagging of late. I think that the stress of the new country plus the stress of running the swing dancing movement have added up some. I have not had a break since I arrived here, including Christmas and New Years. People keep on coming and going and so far I have not solidified any really good friends who also intend to stay in the country for the next year or two. Some quite good friends are going back to America very soon.

And, as before, my personality and that of my dance partner are very different. I still do not feel completely relaxed when I am around her. Things have improved significantly since we broke up the class in half, and each teaches his or her own students. Plus, we have divided up the responsibilities so that I can take charge of some events completly on my own and she do the same for other events. But nonetheless I think the personality differences are a major drain on my energy. I have done those things which I felt are necessary to keep the partnership in existance and keep her happy. But I am becoming unhappy, and I am unable to explain it to her in any way which will produce a change in her.

We both are needed and important to have the swing dance movement continue. This I believe. But I think that at this point we need to separate responsibilities as much as possible. As soon as it is feasible, I am going to try to get each of us different dance partners and each conduct our own classes at different times. There are many advantages to this. Our styles of dance mesh much better with other people than with each other. We've both acknowledged this. Plus, if we want the swing dance movement to continue, we need to hold more classes. Dividing up teaching in this way would improve many things.

So much for now. I will talk about this plan with my partner tonight. She's been sort of mulling with a similiar type of idea for a while, so I think it will work out alright.
Peace,
-J