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For three years, I have been in China teaching Swing Dancing. Now I'm wandering yet again...
2005-01-30
Next move
So I've had the talk with the roommie and the air is cleared. I'm set to stay here if he ends up moving out. But now, strangely, I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better just to get a place of my own. There's advantages and disadvantages. Going to sleep on it and see what I think about it tomorrow.
-J
2005-01-29
After the meeting
So I had a chat with my roommate. I think it turned out OK. After the talk things seemed a bit colder between us, but I felt it was necessary and important that we have it. I did strike a serious tone for the meeting. When I asked to talk to him he originally said "Dont worry, you won't be left in a lurch" but I told him I needed more assurance than that.
I told him I was wanting to stay in this location, regardless of whether he moved or not. Also, I told him I'd rather the lease be in my own name, and he agreed to this. I think he's pretty determined to make this job work, and also will probably get a new place closer to his work once the job gets going. We also agreed to split the current rent evenly between us, but we're each keeping our own rooms. This is not as good as I'd hoped; his room is better. But he did point out that the rent I pay is much less than his, proportionally, and it had gone for six months and he'd not complained. Our contract was up and it was appropriate to ask for a renegotiation. Then I'd said it would be better to get some more advance notice for when his guests visit.
So in two months, if his job is going well and he's not happy with the commute, he's going to seek a place somewhere else and I'm staying here. He said he'd provide four weeks notice for any such move.
As I'd said, I'd struck a serious tone for the meeting. I was quite concerned. And I felt that if I didn't put my foot down I could end up in a difficult situation. So this is how I handled it.
Changes
So the magazine cover is out. I thought that they would put four of us on the front cover of the magazine. As it turns out, it's just me and Kellian! A good picture, too, she says. It's been three days and I'm yet to find a copy of it, but I will soon.
So this boost is combined with finding a new dance studio in which we can hold classes. I'm going to start holding two or three new lesson nights per week, beginning immediately after Chinese New Year. The CNY is a week-long holiday, and pretty much everything grinds to a halt during this time. People travel back to see their families and such. For me, I'm going to stay right here and plan out my little dance school.
On the home front, there's a bit of a change too. One I'm not too happy with at the moment. My roommate's been a pretty decent guy overall. There's always things to deal with with anyone you see frequently, but up to this time I'd pretty much felt like it was all pretty OK. Well, he's just got a job, and a couple of days ago he said he may be moving to live closer to that job. That's fine, of course. I said this worked for me, so long as we could find a replacement roommate. Then he asked if I would put my name on the lease (instead of his), and I said this also was fine.
So yesterday I got a new message completely. He said he wanted to even out the rent portions that each of us pay. This I thought was also acceptable, since his portion is disproportionately large. And then he said, in passing, that he'd just checked the old responses from his personal ad and he found a lot more people were interested in the ad than he had realized. And many of those were willing to pay a lot more.
So this did not sit at all well with me. This made me think he's not so much on the level as I'd thought. And I came to wonder about other doubts I had been having and not paying attention to. So I see some future possibilties, most of which I do not like. It is possible that he could just move out and I would sign the lease. This is acceptable. I'd have to find a new roommate but I think I could do alright since I'd get to pick the person.
The other possibilities are not so keen in my view. I see a reasonable likelihood of him staying and asking for a more even split of rent. I used to feel OK with this but now I'm doubting. The next possibility is that he'll want to move out AND still keep the lease in his name, renting out his half of the apartment to someone else who's willing to pay more for it. That is not cool with me. I would essentially be the responsible tenant while he's collecting a margin off a roommate who I do not have the power to select or evict.
So I'm not feeling at ease. Moving is a major hassle. And just for the last month or so I was saying I'm finally happy with my apartment location and finances. I've set up my work locations to be on the subway line which runs close by my house. But now I'm thinking I'd better prepare. I'd better get an option for a single-room place of my own. There are problems living alone, lonliness and day-to-day hassles chief among them. But things are actually going pretty well in my 'work' life. I really can't relax so long as the house situation is in limbo. It takes probably five full work days to plan and execute a house move. Time to look at personal ads, look at houses, negotiate the lease, then to do the final moving. Then, once you do move in there's another time loss. It takes months to settle into a place; find out who lives nearby, where to get good, cheap food...
Well, he's just walked in the door. We'll have a chat and see what happens.
-J
2005-01-23
Parallels
Tonight I met a friend of mine. We had not planned to meet. It is Saturday night and I was wondering what I should do. I had no real cash to spend. No real love interest to pursue. And no clear interested in going to the bars again. So I went to the gym. I sat in the sauna for a while. Then I went out to the streets. Walking. Would I go to the computer game place? No, I think not. The guy who I had played against in Heroes of Might and Magic IV no longer wanted to play against me. I beat him every time and he no longer found it interesting. So I walked.
I found my friend also wandering about. I recognized him. He'd taken some pictures at a swing dancing event a few weeks ago. So I said hello, and we together hit the town. First a regular bar, pitcher of beer 110 quai. After the pitcher I told him I was beyond my budget if we were to stay here and have another picther. (Sorry, can't spell now). So we took off again.
What was his plan tonight? He didn't have one. Supposed to meet some girl for salsa dancing, but she was a no-show. So he and I walked to a bar I knew was giving 10 quai beers. There we had a few. Ran into someone I knew. Said hello. The guy's a bit odd so we didn't talk to long. My friend and I headed downstairs. Met some U.S. girls who were in town just for the day. They were teaching English in Northwest China. Hello, How are you? Ok, great. See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.
My friend and I stop for tacos. He and I are parallel in that:
* we were both involved with Chinese girls in America.
* both of our relationship dissolved after Nine-Eleven. We both agreed that it was because of nine-elelven that our relationships stopped happening. And both of us came to China afterwards. And both of us have been in Shanghai, China for a year.
This is a parallel.
-J
2005-01-20
Uh huh
I am working on two new projects right now. The first is a small party on Valentine's Day. The second is a big party on the first Saturday in March. We've had a lot of parties since I first got here. Most have been relatively small. These upcoming two will hopefully be larger.
The Valentines day party is relatively easy to prepare for. We're collaborating with a local bar and having an evening. I'm bringing some dancers and supplying the music. Since I've been working on organizing the music over the past few weeks, it should be relatively straightfoward. I went over to the place and designed a flyer on their computer. I must admit, it looks pretty beautiful. It's a pile of candy hearts, and instead of messages on the hearts there are instructions for how to get to the party. I also put some hidden messages on some of the hearts. And if you look really hard, you can see a picture of our dance troupe in one heart on the corner. The owner was very happy with it. They made them into posters, too. The owner's husband (who is also the architect of the bar) also complimented me on it. Hopefully the night will go as well as the flyer.
The second project a much more involved. It is a 1930's theme party. I've been able to locate a fantastic venue which is going to cooperate with us on all details. The venue is a converted river-side warehouse. The third floor is the big party room. We can fit potentially 300 people. It would be great to think we'd have that many. (Let's see how it goes.) It is a beautiful space. Very minimalist in some senses, with quality furniture and a comfortable lounge atmosphere while at the same time being the size of a big dance hall. The moment I saw it I knew it was right. The location is acceptable, too. Not too far from a metro line 1 subway stop. Of course the main thing is that the managers are good folks. When I told them about the swing dancing efforts I have been putting in, they said they appreciated how hard it was to bring new ideas. To do this 30's party properly, it must become my life focus for the next six weeks.
Things cooling off on the personal side of life. I've been a bit reflective as of late. Besides a good income, I've got just about all a man can ask for out here. Every now and then my thoughts wander off to things. Lately I've been thinking that it's about time to begin to start forgiving some people (if that's the right term). Perhaps I should say I should find peace within myself in relation to others. It is a hard thing to do, to find a balance. I guess that's what I'm seeking for. OK, I'm getting a bit tired. Have a nice sleep.
-J
2005-01-17
Shanghai- Beijing Lindy Exchange
(from written notes on plane)
It is Sunday morning. I am in the Beijing Airport. This weekend was spent in Beijing. Eight of us came by train to a dance party with the Beijing Swing Dancers.
The ride up was exciting in the beginning. We left as a group Friday, 7pm. We had seats all together, and soon found our way up to the retaurant car for some drunken carousing. The train to Beijing is very modern and spacious. Seats are like airline chairs, and doors between cards open automatically at the touch of a sensor pad. The train itself is also very long. It took us ten minutes to walk the length of it.
Once at the dining car, we became the typical rowdy foreigners. The men had several rounds of beeer and began a philosophical debate on the evolutionary successes of human cultures; was a culture's success a factor of opportunity, genertic differences, or the personality of the culture itself? It was nice to have an intelligent talk in English. Then Mr. Bean came on the TV and we all laughed our heads off. All the Chinese in the car saw us and they started watching, too.
The train was constantly vibrating, and our beer bottles persistently crept towards the edge of the table. Finally, one fell off and sprayed David in the pants. He jumped up and quickly grabbed some napkins from the bar girl. I pointed to his wet pants and said to her, "Ta bu zhi dao zai nali ce suo." The girl wanted to laugh. You could see it. She struggled not to. She squished her lips together and held tight her jaw and squirmed. (I'd just told her, he does not know where the bathroom is.)
I received a phone text message about 11pm: "Hey! Where's the party at?" It was someone I'd met on the movie, probably texting everyone he knew, fishing for a party. So I decided to play a little prank. I texted back:
"I'm at the ELLE China model tryouts. Woo Hoo!"
We all laughed about this, then moments later David joins in and texts to him:
"You gotta get here! The girls are asking for you!"
Very soon after I receive another text message: "Where" He's bought it!
We're all drunk by now and this is just bloody hillarious. So I ask my friend Orchid to send me a message in Chinese characters giving some really bogus directions. She sends me, in Chinese: "Go to the Lian Hua Supermaket. Turn left and go three blocks. Enter a big red door and ask for Sally"
Of course, there are 1000 Lian Hua supermarkets. These are completely useless instructions. Within minutes we receive a call:
"Hey, I'm in a cab right now and the driver cannot figure out your directions. Can you give the phone to someone who can tell the driver how to get there?"
I motion to everyone to make noise, as if we were at a party. "Hey man, I can't talk now. The girls are taking their clothes off!!!"
The harried voice on the other line returns: "Where are you? Where are you!?"
We could have lead this guy all around the city by telling the driver to go to different places. But then I decide it's time to let the cat out of the bad. "You've been had! We're not at a party, we're on the train with the swing dancers going to Beijing.!"
This was all good fun, but about midnight we're thinking of heading back to the seats for some rest. Damn uncomfortable! I tried every conceivable position. Eventually I just picked the one which was least uncomfortable. But there was no sleep. 2am, I looked around and everyone else was also not sleeping, also looking around. 3am. 4am. Train arrives at 7:30. Sheesh.
Tired, grumpy, and uncomfortable we roll out of the train into the cold Beijing morning. But regardless, Kellian and I do a quick swing dance outside on the smooth cement to innagurate the occasion. We have breakfast across the street from the train station. Then we try to reach our friend who has the apartment in town. He's not answering his phone. Neither is his brother. Nor is the girl from Shanghai who's already at the apartment. We can't reach anyone from Beijing, either. It's 8am and everyone would rather be sleeping. But we're sitting out here, in the cold, no where to go, no one to talk to. Who knows how long we'll be at this train station! This trip is looking like a dud. We finally arrive at the apartment and wake up the sleeper by banging on the door. We're all grumpy and unhappy at our reception. But we get some rest and trudge along.
At 7pm we meet up with the Beijing dancers for dinner, and things are looking better. The food is really good. We go to this Hong Kong restaurant. Adam and River and the commanders of Beijing. Usually it's me, in Shanghai. So it's interesting to see someone else leading the mob.
Dance begins at 9pm, and it's pretty cool. It's so nice to be dancing with some new blood. A couple from Tasmania is here as well. My energy is up, my excitement up, and I'm doing every single dance.
We take a breatk to talk to the media which is covering the event. City Weekend is here. They are a free bi-monthly English language magazine. They want to put us on the front cover of their next issue! And this is national, too. The same publication prints in Beijing and Shanghai, maybe a few other places as well. This is probably the single most important coverage we've ever had. Everyone reads City Weekend, or at least looks at the front cover.
The photographer asks us to strike different poses. We take shots of the Beijing dandcers, the Shanghai dancers, and one of us all in a "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" pose.
The night goes on past midnight, and my energy is drained! We're off to a late dinner where we socialize a bit and talk of swing in China, life in general.
2am and I'm back at Adam's apartment. He's giving me some of his swing music, which is good because you can't get it out here. 3am sleep.
8am wake. I've overslept. Shower. OJ. Taxi to airport in a hurry! And now I'm sitting on a wide-body China Air flight to Shanghai. We'll be landing in about 90 minutes.
Beats 12 hours on the train!
-J
(from written notes on plane)
It is Sunday morning. I am in the Beijing Airport. This weekend was spent in Beijing. Eight of us came by train to a dance party with the Beijing Swing Dancers.
The ride up was exciting in the beginning. We left as a group Friday, 7pm. We had seats all together, and soon found our way up to the retaurant car for some drunken carousing. The train to Beijing is very modern and spacious. Seats are like airline chairs, and doors between cards open automatically at the touch of a sensor pad. The train itself is also very long. It took us ten minutes to walk the length of it.
Once at the dining car, we became the typical rowdy foreigners. The men had several rounds of beeer and began a philosophical debate on the evolutionary successes of human cultures; was a culture's success a factor of opportunity, genertic differences, or the personality of the culture itself? It was nice to have an intelligent talk in English. Then Mr. Bean came on the TV and we all laughed our heads off. All the Chinese in the car saw us and they started watching, too.
The train was constantly vibrating, and our beer bottles persistently crept towards the edge of the table. Finally, one fell off and sprayed David in the pants. He jumped up and quickly grabbed some napkins from the bar girl. I pointed to his wet pants and said to her, "Ta bu zhi dao zai nali ce suo." The girl wanted to laugh. You could see it. She struggled not to. She squished her lips together and held tight her jaw and squirmed. (I'd just told her, he does not know where the bathroom is.)
I received a phone text message about 11pm: "Hey! Where's the party at?" It was someone I'd met on the movie, probably texting everyone he knew, fishing for a party. So I decided to play a little prank. I texted back:
"I'm at the ELLE China model tryouts. Woo Hoo!"
We all laughed about this, then moments later David joins in and texts to him:
"You gotta get here! The girls are asking for you!"
Very soon after I receive another text message: "Where" He's bought it!
We're all drunk by now and this is just bloody hillarious. So I ask my friend Orchid to send me a message in Chinese characters giving some really bogus directions. She sends me, in Chinese: "Go to the Lian Hua Supermaket. Turn left and go three blocks. Enter a big red door and ask for Sally"
Of course, there are 1000 Lian Hua supermarkets. These are completely useless instructions. Within minutes we receive a call:
"Hey, I'm in a cab right now and the driver cannot figure out your directions. Can you give the phone to someone who can tell the driver how to get there?"
I motion to everyone to make noise, as if we were at a party. "Hey man, I can't talk now. The girls are taking their clothes off!!!"
The harried voice on the other line returns: "Where are you? Where are you!?"
We could have lead this guy all around the city by telling the driver to go to different places. But then I decide it's time to let the cat out of the bad. "You've been had! We're not at a party, we're on the train with the swing dancers going to Beijing.!"
This was all good fun, but about midnight we're thinking of heading back to the seats for some rest. Damn uncomfortable! I tried every conceivable position. Eventually I just picked the one which was least uncomfortable. But there was no sleep. 2am, I looked around and everyone else was also not sleeping, also looking around. 3am. 4am. Train arrives at 7:30. Sheesh.
Tired, grumpy, and uncomfortable we roll out of the train into the cold Beijing morning. But regardless, Kellian and I do a quick swing dance outside on the smooth cement to innagurate the occasion. We have breakfast across the street from the train station. Then we try to reach our friend who has the apartment in town. He's not answering his phone. Neither is his brother. Nor is the girl from Shanghai who's already at the apartment. We can't reach anyone from Beijing, either. It's 8am and everyone would rather be sleeping. But we're sitting out here, in the cold, no where to go, no one to talk to. Who knows how long we'll be at this train station! This trip is looking like a dud. We finally arrive at the apartment and wake up the sleeper by banging on the door. We're all grumpy and unhappy at our reception. But we get some rest and trudge along.
At 7pm we meet up with the Beijing dancers for dinner, and things are looking better. The food is really good. We go to this Hong Kong restaurant. Adam and River and the commanders of Beijing. Usually it's me, in Shanghai. So it's interesting to see someone else leading the mob.
Dance begins at 9pm, and it's pretty cool. It's so nice to be dancing with some new blood. A couple from Tasmania is here as well. My energy is up, my excitement up, and I'm doing every single dance.
We take a breatk to talk to the media which is covering the event. City Weekend is here. They are a free bi-monthly English language magazine. They want to put us on the front cover of their next issue! And this is national, too. The same publication prints in Beijing and Shanghai, maybe a few other places as well. This is probably the single most important coverage we've ever had. Everyone reads City Weekend, or at least looks at the front cover.
The photographer asks us to strike different poses. We take shots of the Beijing dandcers, the Shanghai dancers, and one of us all in a "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" pose.
The night goes on past midnight, and my energy is drained! We're off to a late dinner where we socialize a bit and talk of swing in China, life in general.
2am and I'm back at Adam's apartment. He's giving me some of his swing music, which is good because you can't get it out here. 3am sleep.
8am wake. I've overslept. Shower. OJ. Taxi to airport in a hurry! And now I'm sitting on a wide-body China Air flight to Shanghai. We'll be landing in about 90 minutes.
Beats 12 hours on the train!
-J
2005-01-03
Personal life
Dance stuff aside.
Over the last few days my roommate has had some friends visiting from Australia. He's been meeting up with them and I haven't seen him much for about five days. I ended up going to a party with them on New Year's night. Interesting affair, that.
I guess it's safe to say that I'm dating a new ladyfriend right now. It's a big chance, I'm sure. She's bright, intelligent, very attractive, and quite young. We met on the movie set and went on a date after the shooting was all over.
It's a jinx to say too much.
I've got to take care of some paperwork for the old business stuff. Just been putting it off and now it's time to deal with it.
I'm facing a critical point on the job issue. Resume time, hunting time, and so forth. Measure possibilities in dance, commecials, business, and so forth.
For some reason I'm feeling lonely tonight. I don't quite understand why. I just finished a great night. Had dinner afterwards with a group of friends from the dance. Just walked home and there's no one here. Saw my girlfriend (wow, a title) just yesterday, so I can't be lonely there. Maybe I'm thinking a little more about the old real family. Over Christmas my mom gave a call here. I talked with the sis, bro, and everyone there. Just a few brief hellos, but I could picture myself being there. I could picture the tree back at the old house, the packages which were frequently wrapped in something inexpensive like Sunday comics, and the chocolate cookies which my grandmother made once. That sounds so clique, but they were these round chocolate dough balls which were rolled in powdered sugar then placed on a cookie pan. When the dough rises from the baking, the white powder breaks apart like fissures in the earth. And these things were good. I mean goooood. As a kid I used to steal away as many as I could without being caught.
And the thing is as an adult I've never been much of a Christmas person. It was an OK holiday but it didn't shake me. To be honest, I'd probably be found in not the best of moods while I went through my routine - the dinner, the presents, saying hello to folks.
Odd to me now that I'm missing that. Is that it?
The other thing I've just become more acutely aware of is that my sister has left the Chicago area. I don't know why it would matter to me if she lived in Chicago or in Germany (which is her new home). I mean, I'm here, in Shanghai and I'm not traveling to anywhere else anyhow. But somehow it's strange that I know if I DO go back she won't be there.
My mom kept me up to date with the changes my sister was planning. But it went from "thinking about it" to "she's leaving in two days" on the Christmas phone call.
And she's having a kid. The first of our siblings. I always figured she'd be first. She's certainly the most qualified to take care of one. But I also figured I could see the kid, at least when I came back on some vacation. I would introduce myself, and he or she would know who I was and so forth. Now she's to Germany for three years or more and so is the kid, of course.
My sister has always been the most stable of the siblings. I think its safe to say, less adventurous as well. But this is a real large adventure she's going on now. New country and new child.
It also occured to me, she and I have never really had much of a conversation about this. As a matter of fact I didn't realize she was imminently leaving to go. It's safe to say that we are not really close. We've never been close. We are about as different as two people get (and I'm sure a lot of people have siblings like this). But I kind of always said, in the back of my head, at some point in the future maybe we'll be older and things will flow a little smoother between us. But this has not happened as of yet, and it's certainly if there is a time for it, it will be years from now.
Many of the people I hang out with here are in the 'drinking buddy' category. This is great for many things, but I don't feel like I'm completely in that social group. I've felt that way for a long time. I still see these guys frequently, but many nights they do things and I don't get word of it. In the same sense, I've been meeting up with a lot of new people, many of which came from the movie. I feel like I have a bit more in common with somewhat artistic people. My interest lies there right now.
I suppose doing what I'm doing as a primary activity will have an effect. I spend more time listening to music. For my class I study dance videos. I meet many musicians from dancing out a certain clubs. I have met now also a lot of movie and film-related people as well. And I think I am taking to it. I think this suits me.
So, for now, goodnight.
-J
Today's dance
Today was a new dance class. This was one of the more satisfying nights. Many good things came together at once.
Over the last week I have organized the music. Most dance CD's have a few good danceable songs but many you cannot dance to. So I took the entire music collection, listened to every track on every CD, and classified them. Type of swing music, the speed of the beat, and a rating one to five stars, name of musician, and name of song (if I could figure it out). Of some 500 songs total, 130 were just right for dancing. Now we can play four hours of swing music in a night. This process literally took three full days, but I think the quality of music really showed in the mood tonight.
We had very good attendance today. A group of referrals, a group from my own contacts, a group which has heard of us from the Web, and some people who just were walking by and saw the sign outside.
The class flowed smoothly. I've bought a headset wireless microphone for teaching large classes like the one we had today. Any crowd of more than 10 will make small conversations and get distracted. It's hard to get their attention back again without giving a shout, and shouting is really exhausting. Plus it's no fun for anyone. With the headset I can be heard, and I'm not nearly as tired after teaching.
And we have to be thankful for the venue itself. The fact now that we have a large dance hall which we can use every Sunday is a major accomplishment. We've struggled for a very, very long time to have an acceptable, stable place to hold our dances, and now we finally have.
Our Shanghai Swings dance night looked like a dance night from back home. The beginners flowed in, the classes were held and everyone laughed a bit and had a good time. The class proceeded for an hour, and then the people mulled around a bit and socialized. The more experienced dancers took to the floor, and many of the beginners got their coats and took off, some saying they'd come back. The other beginners stayed and watched the good dancers take the floor. People danced for two and a half hours after class.
I remember the first time I went to a swing dance night. I was a beginner to a brand new scene, watching people doing moves that left me saying, 'uh, wow'. And I think we're finally getting that feeling here.
-J
