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For three years, I have been in China teaching Swing Dancing. Now I'm wandering yet again...
2005-01-03
Personal life
Dance stuff aside.
Over the last few days my roommate has had some friends visiting from Australia. He's been meeting up with them and I haven't seen him much for about five days. I ended up going to a party with them on New Year's night. Interesting affair, that.
I guess it's safe to say that I'm dating a new ladyfriend right now. It's a big chance, I'm sure. She's bright, intelligent, very attractive, and quite young. We met on the movie set and went on a date after the shooting was all over.
It's a jinx to say too much.
I've got to take care of some paperwork for the old business stuff. Just been putting it off and now it's time to deal with it.
I'm facing a critical point on the job issue. Resume time, hunting time, and so forth. Measure possibilities in dance, commecials, business, and so forth.
For some reason I'm feeling lonely tonight. I don't quite understand why. I just finished a great night. Had dinner afterwards with a group of friends from the dance. Just walked home and there's no one here. Saw my girlfriend (wow, a title) just yesterday, so I can't be lonely there. Maybe I'm thinking a little more about the old real family. Over Christmas my mom gave a call here. I talked with the sis, bro, and everyone there. Just a few brief hellos, but I could picture myself being there. I could picture the tree back at the old house, the packages which were frequently wrapped in something inexpensive like Sunday comics, and the chocolate cookies which my grandmother made once. That sounds so clique, but they were these round chocolate dough balls which were rolled in powdered sugar then placed on a cookie pan. When the dough rises from the baking, the white powder breaks apart like fissures in the earth. And these things were good. I mean goooood. As a kid I used to steal away as many as I could without being caught.
And the thing is as an adult I've never been much of a Christmas person. It was an OK holiday but it didn't shake me. To be honest, I'd probably be found in not the best of moods while I went through my routine - the dinner, the presents, saying hello to folks.
Odd to me now that I'm missing that. Is that it?
The other thing I've just become more acutely aware of is that my sister has left the Chicago area. I don't know why it would matter to me if she lived in Chicago or in Germany (which is her new home). I mean, I'm here, in Shanghai and I'm not traveling to anywhere else anyhow. But somehow it's strange that I know if I DO go back she won't be there.
My mom kept me up to date with the changes my sister was planning. But it went from "thinking about it" to "she's leaving in two days" on the Christmas phone call.
And she's having a kid. The first of our siblings. I always figured she'd be first. She's certainly the most qualified to take care of one. But I also figured I could see the kid, at least when I came back on some vacation. I would introduce myself, and he or she would know who I was and so forth. Now she's to Germany for three years or more and so is the kid, of course.
My sister has always been the most stable of the siblings. I think its safe to say, less adventurous as well. But this is a real large adventure she's going on now. New country and new child.
It also occured to me, she and I have never really had much of a conversation about this. As a matter of fact I didn't realize she was imminently leaving to go. It's safe to say that we are not really close. We've never been close. We are about as different as two people get (and I'm sure a lot of people have siblings like this). But I kind of always said, in the back of my head, at some point in the future maybe we'll be older and things will flow a little smoother between us. But this has not happened as of yet, and it's certainly if there is a time for it, it will be years from now.
Many of the people I hang out with here are in the 'drinking buddy' category. This is great for many things, but I don't feel like I'm completely in that social group. I've felt that way for a long time. I still see these guys frequently, but many nights they do things and I don't get word of it. In the same sense, I've been meeting up with a lot of new people, many of which came from the movie. I feel like I have a bit more in common with somewhat artistic people. My interest lies there right now.
I suppose doing what I'm doing as a primary activity will have an effect. I spend more time listening to music. For my class I study dance videos. I meet many musicians from dancing out a certain clubs. I have met now also a lot of movie and film-related people as well. And I think I am taking to it. I think this suits me.
So, for now, goodnight.
-J
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