The Wandering Monkey

Final Blog Entry

The Chinese New Year has come and gone. This past year, amazingly enough, as been the Year of the Mokey. I kid you not. This present year is the Year of the Rooster. My birthday falls between Western New Year and Eastern New Year. And my Chinese Zodiac sign is the Rooster. So this is my year, apparently.

I have kept this blog because I needed it. I really did! So many times my head was spinning and I needed some way to keep it straightened out. In a sense some times I had no choice in the matter; I had to keep writing. Now it has been over one year. I would say that I arrived in Fall 2003. This is now Winter 2005. Almost one and a half years. I have to say that it has been time well spent.

All of the time while I have been in China, I have never gone back and read this blog. I imagine I will find it very amusing some day. I have loved the messages people send on occasion though.

But the time has come now for me to stop holding on to old things. I need to stop complaining about things in the past and focus on the present. But only after this last blog entry! So, first, a short look back at the people I've met.
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My original dance partner, K, is going back to America. She is engaged to be married, to her boyfriend who's home I stayed at when I first came to China. During the time that I spent here, K was my most important person in the first three or four months. Swing dance in Shanghai would not be the same without her. Of the original swing dancing crew, she brought in as many people as I did. She has a certain energy and liveliness which can be contagious.

We are on good terms and see each other just about every week at the social dance. This weekend she is traveling to Singapore to represent Shanghai at the Swing Dance Convention being held over there.
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My 'Ex' is doing very well with her business. We have been amicably exchanging emails over the last month.
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"M", who was my dance partner and girlfriend back in San Francisco is also doing very well at her job. Last I saw her was in Shanghai with her new boyfriend.
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I have not been in too much contact with my cousin back in Phoenix, AZ, but we have sent a few amusing emails back and forth. Just last week I felt his influence in my life, when I met a jujitsu instructor who taught a martial arts style my cousin had told me about.
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My brother is living in his apartment in the Chicago area. We've kept in intermittent touch over email and phone as well. He's considering going into a line of education work with special needs kids. That's tough work.
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My uncle in Boston is doing well. He sends me messages every now and then encouraging my efforts, and praises me that I am doing something interesting with my life. And his daughter (my cousin), has had a child while I have been in China. Mother and child doing well.
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My sister and my brother-in-law are expecting a baby any time now. Within the next few weeks.
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NEW GIRL and I are still dating.
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My high school friends are all doing rather well. One is a famous and incredible illustrator. One is a computer engineer. Another has returned from Iraq safe and sound. And one has a wonderful daughter who looks the image of her mom.
And so many more people here in China and the States but most of all...

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My mom has been a big supporter of my ideas ever since I left for China. Helped keep me going this long.
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But I think it's time to give it the blog a rest. It's time for a completely new chapter, of life.

So, thank you for reading, and Xin Nien Kuai Le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm taking another step in permanence. I'm going setting up the paperwork and putting up official schedules for a dance studio. I've got a location with a really good studio and good relations with the management. And I feel like, yeaoh, this is a big step.

On the home front, things are smoothed over fine with the roommie. Just a bit of a complication; nothing serious. He's gotten a new job, and he's moving into a new location in town closer to work, so I'm going to be getting a new pot-luck roomie very soon. Too bad because I was just getting settled in! But I decided I'm not going to move to a new apartment, such as a single-room apartment for myself. It's better to be with people, especially when you are in a foreign country. So nice to be able to talk a few sentences in your own language when you get home.

I'm also going to be looking at teaching in a relatively famous Shanghai art school. A friend of mine has referred me to it. This would not be for the money, that's for sure! But I really want to start doing something to bring swing dancing to the Chinese. Plus I want to meet some more Chinese. I hang out a lot with other English-speaking expats. It's the only sane thing to do after a while. But if this new job did turn out OK, I'd be working with people who speak no English whatsoever, and taking a van for some 20 minutes out of town to meet up with them. I'm OK with that. I'm up for the challenge. The only way I will ever learn Chinese well is if I have no other choice but to communicate in it.

A few days ago I had a dinner with a friend of mine. She speaks absolutely no English at all. And I communicated (albiet roughly) for an entire meal, for about one hour. We did have a translation dictionary on hand, just in case we wanted to say anything complex. But in that time I probably practiced more Chinese than I had in months.

I guess it is safe to say I've achieved a small level of fame now. The cover of City Weekend was seen by just about everyone. People who I have met and not seen for months are all congratulating me on it. It was really a coup. First the movie, then the cover. And the cover was completely unrelated to my work on the movie- it didn't mention it at all.

Even with this, today I am feeling a little homesick. I have not left China since I arrived; over one and a half years. The swing dancing has helped; I meet many foreigners and I get a feeling of being at home when we have a swing dance.

Also, a new news article on swing, if you want to see it:

On that topic, we held a dance at a local bar on Valentines Day. This falls on a Monday during Spring Festival. For one week after Chinese New Year, almost every Chinese gets the week off and travels back home. It's as important to them as Chirstmas and New Years are to Americans (maybe moreso, since they actually get a full week off!). As a result, most places are dead. But our swing dance night had 170 people show up! Whoo hooo! That's the biggest turn-out for an event we have ever had. Credit goes to the venue for proper promotion, but it's also a sign that things are getting better for dance.

I want to get in another movie. That's what I'm hungry for, really. It was so exciting. Everyone around was excited about it. At the gym today I met a guy who was a dancer in the last movie. He said he's been doing some Chinese movie extra work, which pays poo-poo. I have been asked to come as an extra on some of these movies, but unless there is either a famous director or some dancing in it, it doesn't make much sense to join in because the pay is so low.

The other day I went out to a local watering hole which had been home to many a nights out with the boys. When I got there, I really felt like I didn't belong there. Or rather, I wasn't having any fun. I was just there to meet up with someone and leave. I did see a bunch of friends, which was cool. But the scene just didn't interest me. I think I prefer the swing nights more now!

So peace all. My mom's in Germany, where my sister and brother-in-law are now living. And, sometimes it slips my mind, my sister is expecting very soon. I think within a few weeks. That's why my mom has gone out to visit her. So that means I'll be an uncle soon. That's cool. I'm glad my sister had a kid before I did (assuming I do). She's the most responsible one of our siblings, and probably the best suited for the task.

It's 2am Saturday. The weather in Shanghai is just below freezing, and a small blanket of snow is covering everything. That's the first time I've ever seen snow accumulate. So peace, y'all!

Yesterday I was hanging out with the new girl. It was late at night, quite late, and she got a call from someone. A guy. I don't know what they were talking about because it was all in Chinese. But she left shortly afterwards. Where are you going? I asked. She said to see a friend. I said, who is this person? She said a person she knows. At first she said it was a guy, then she said it was a woman. In either event she was going out.
I was tired and let her go, but when I thought about it, it didn't seem right. It was too late to be making any kind of social call. I was being played, I felt. I tried to see if I could catch her on the way out but she was already gone. I called her phone and asked where she was going, and she got upset with me. For a moment I thought that perhaps I should just leave this alone, not interfere and just not think anything of it. But it was too odd, and my feeling was that this was not Kosher. So I told her I was not happy with this. And I told her if she's going to do this, then I will say goodbye.
I think that will pretty much end things. Even through the language differences it seems she understood me, as she has not tried to reach me today. Overall I think this is for the best; it could never be in the long-term. I had felt I should be getting out of this anyhow, and this seemed the time for it all to happen. So, in all likelihood this chapter ends and a new blank page begins.
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Tuesday was Chinese New Year's Eve. A local bar near my house was having free beer from 10 to midnight. It's the same place that I am holding a Valentines Day Swing Dance. So I went there. I ran into a couple of people I knew, or rather people who recognized me and I vaguely remembered them. After a while of talking to someone I will recall where I met them. I saw one person who had worked on the movie with me. And another who I had run into socially -- he was selling insurance in Shanghai and apparently doing quite well.
I said hello to the bar owner and one of the managers. The bar staff also greeted me with a smile and a hello. Though we had not been introduced, they had seen me several times there when I came over to do some work during the day. (They always make coffee for me.) A Latin band was playing that night. I knew the band members as well. I'd run into them before a few times, and the band leader Ricardo had called me asking if I knew anyone who could be a replacement singer. Their own singer had left the group or something, and they were going to lose their paying gig if they didn't find someone to replace him. I gave them two phone numbers of good singers who they could talk to, and apparently they've hooked up with one now! Ricardo was very grateful, very happy to see me. I'm glad I could help.
I ran into a few other people from the movie as well - one extra wrangler. He introduced me to his girlfriend and some of their friends who were hanging out, and I invited them to my dinner party on Saturday.
When midnight hit, I went outside to see what was going on. People were lighting off fireworks and firecrackers everywhere. It was like a Fourth of July in every direction you could see. I had to hold my fingers in my ears because the firecrackers were so loud. One Chinese guy was laying out these six-foot long strings of firecrackers and lighting them in the street. To our left, another Chinese guy was moving one piece after another into the street and lighting it off. We were not on a main road, but there still were some taxis trying to get by. At one point, they just stopped completely. It was like a war zone (though not really, of course). There was so much smoke from the fireworks that it looked like fog had descended. It was really pretty cool.
After about 10 minutes of this, I re-joined some friends downstairs. We all went together to another bar that had really good burgers, where I got my dinner. I ran into another person I knew there who congratulated me on getting the front cover. "How long have you been here?" he asked me. "How'd you get the front cover? What did you pay for it? What - you didn't pay anything? Well how much did they pay you?" Everyone asks the same questions. It's kind of cool.
Then I was walking down the street, heading to another bar where we hold a bi-weekly dance event. Four people were walking down the street opposite me. One of them, a foreigner, talked to me as they passed.
"The Nicole Kidman / Wong Kar Wai film has been postponed to July."
That's really exactly what he said. I was still trying to figure out who he was. Must have been someone I met on the movie, obviously.
"Thanks!" I said. "I heard it was suppoed to come in February but then it didn't happen."
"It is now scheduled for July."
"Thanks" and we both smiled, waved, and kept on walking.
I got to the bar and the manager gave me a warm hello and about me a beer. I said thanks, wandered around a bit, then decided that the night's just about as good as it is going to get. Off to home.

The bar manager there gave me a warm welcome and bought me a beer.

This is Chinese New Year. Everyone gets Wednesday off, and the rest of the week. The Chinese travel en masse all around to the country... to... wherever they come from. The transportation system is pressed to the limit as probably a quarter of the country moves at the same time. During this time, I chose to stay in Shanghai. Most foreigners do. There's no point in trying to beat the mobs.

As for me: right now I am on the cover of one magazine and one newspaper. The magazine has a big ol' picture of myself and my original dance partner, doing a whip-around-the-back move. It published nationally, and friends of mine who have seen it in both Beijing and Shanghai have sent me congratulatory messages. A few new students have come because of it -- not too many -- but those people who already do swing dancing are now aware that there is a Lindy Hop scene in China.

On Sunday I held a class at a temporary location -- a dance studio in a hotel. It's a great location and a great deal. (Hopefully we will be able to do everything to keep that deal running.) Sunday was an awful night. It was cold, and raining heavily. Rain always hurts the turn-out. But, as it was, we ened up with six of our regular students, plus two new ones. That's pretty good. There were six or so girls (we always have more girls), and two of the Chinese guys who I give free lessons to. I give them free lessons because they show up, frankly. If they were not there, I would have to dance with the girls all myself. (Yes, this sounds like a joke, but it's an important consideration).

We have five new girls, and one new guy. The guy has previous ballroom experience, which is good. But is also means I have to un-train some of his techniques, but at this point I'd be willing to train a street sweeper, if he'd show up every week.

Though I had prepared very exstensively for this class, I was for some reason very nervous. I do get this way. I do get nervous. When it comes, you just sort of have to ride it out. It goes away, provided there's no problems. If things flow smoothly, I relax in about a half hour.

I'm watching a movie right now. It's called, "Shall we Dance?" It was recommended to me by by the set designer from the White Countess. It seems very interesting. This movie is about a Japanese businessman who starts taking up ballroom dance when he's so bored going home every night on the train. So far I like it. However, "Strictly Ballroom" is the best dance movie I've ever seen. It's an Australian film.

So now, it looks like the dance will go well for the next couple of months. I am also working in a big party. Back in San Francisco, I used to hold big swing dance parties. My first swing dance party was a test of my own social accomplishment. OK, so I'm a nerd. But I wanted to prove that I was the King of the Nerds, or a least a Duke or something. So I held a party and invited everyone I knew from the swing dance world. This was back in the day when I had just moved to San Jose and I was still trying to establish myself. So, that first party was a test. How many dance nerds could I get to come?

As it was, Jimbo's Swingin' Party was a great success. I had all the tools and all the people and everything I needed.

So now, it's Spring Swing. I considered naming it, Jimbo's Swingin' Party again. But I think it's not appropriate, since I'm trying to promote swing dance, not Jimbo. So it's Spring Swing.

I've made a deal with a local venue. It's relatively new. It's a converted warehouse. On the third floor is a awesome party space. Enough for over 200 people. Beautiful, spacious, with a good allocation of room. I met with the owner of that place a few weeks ago. I told him what I was doing with swing dancing. He is from Hong Kong, and he said he respected my efforts. He said getting the converted warehouse set up was very challenging for him, and if I could be swing dancing in China for over a year without really even knowing the language, I must really be determined!

So he agreed to let us have his space. We''l split the profits (if any), and we don't have to pay any cash up front. It is nice to have someone in your organization who respects what you are doing on a philosophical basis, and he's willing to offer his space on the basis of that respect.

We've also got a bar partner, or a commitment from one. The bar partner is necessary because they have the legal ability to see tickets and provide alchohol to guests. I'd just as well do without the alchohol, but it's not a practical decision. We'll need to attract 250 people to this event. Not all of them will be dancers, and the non-dancers will want to get sauced. So be it.

OK, on to the thing which is bugging me the most right now. Things seem OK with my roommate at the moment. I was tempted to start seeking a place of my own to prevent having roommate issues anymore. But maybe that's a bad long-term strategy. I've noticed a pattern in my own problem solving methods. I do have a tendency to "exit". If things are uncomfortable, I will pick the 'get out' method. Applies to girlfriends most frequently. Other things too. I was tempted, strongly, to just get my own place after this most recent roommate issue. It's a struggle to decide. But I think that overall it's important I don't shut people out; at least not any more than I have done.

So, the real issue now is that I'm still involved with NEW GIRL, but she is younger than I thought. She originally told me her age, which made me say, "Oooph. Maybe a bad idea." But I went ahead anyhow. Then, she told me she was actually two years younger than that. She said she lies about he age because people don't take her seriously if she tells them the truth. I met her on the movie. She's been in a few small productions. She is also, I might add, about the most beautiful girl possible. All the beauty, personality, and shine of a person who is going places. And, as far as I can gather, from a well-to-do family.

Our personalities mesh. We do the same things. Two days ago she sent me a phone text message at 4:30 in the morning. She said she had been writing her book all night long and she was just getting ready to go to sleep. As it was, I had been planning my dance classes all night long, and I was awake to receive her message.

It's not just that. It's a lot of things. But she's just too young! I'm a bit distressed about it. I'm 35 now. I guess as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not young anymore. I'm middle. But I told her this, and I told her that she was too young for me, and we could not be together. She was not happy with this. She said, the Chinese say, Don't pay attention to wealth, don't pay attention to fame, don't pay attention to age, just pay attention to heart.

So my will is weak. I really think she'll be a big star some day. I suppose she thinks the same of me. But common sense says it's a bad idea. Yet, by days I have not yet left this one. Two weeks ago she got into a bad car accident. She was in northern China, looking for places to shoot an upcoming film. She and the people with her were in a van on a mountain road. As one can imagine, those roads are shit. Small, narrow dirt things. Her van hit another car which approached. She was hurt significantly. She said she was asleep for two days. I finally got her message after two days of silence. She said her head was wrapped up like a bunny (whatever that means). Finally, days after, she was back in Shanghai. She came to meet me, and she wore a mask to cover her mouth. (Such masks are relatively commonly worn by people to guard against the air pollution.) Vain, she is. She refused to let me see her face, which was still a little bruised, I thought.

Today we together went to the Shanghai Ocean Aquarium. She helped me learn: "Wo zhe ni paidan de shou". This means, "Hold your dance partner's hand".

And so it goes. Logically, it makes no sense.