The Wandering Monkey

This is Chinese New Year. Everyone gets Wednesday off, and the rest of the week. The Chinese travel en masse all around to the country... to... wherever they come from. The transportation system is pressed to the limit as probably a quarter of the country moves at the same time. During this time, I chose to stay in Shanghai. Most foreigners do. There's no point in trying to beat the mobs.

As for me: right now I am on the cover of one magazine and one newspaper. The magazine has a big ol' picture of myself and my original dance partner, doing a whip-around-the-back move. It published nationally, and friends of mine who have seen it in both Beijing and Shanghai have sent me congratulatory messages. A few new students have come because of it -- not too many -- but those people who already do swing dancing are now aware that there is a Lindy Hop scene in China.

On Sunday I held a class at a temporary location -- a dance studio in a hotel. It's a great location and a great deal. (Hopefully we will be able to do everything to keep that deal running.) Sunday was an awful night. It was cold, and raining heavily. Rain always hurts the turn-out. But, as it was, we ened up with six of our regular students, plus two new ones. That's pretty good. There were six or so girls (we always have more girls), and two of the Chinese guys who I give free lessons to. I give them free lessons because they show up, frankly. If they were not there, I would have to dance with the girls all myself. (Yes, this sounds like a joke, but it's an important consideration).

We have five new girls, and one new guy. The guy has previous ballroom experience, which is good. But is also means I have to un-train some of his techniques, but at this point I'd be willing to train a street sweeper, if he'd show up every week.

Though I had prepared very exstensively for this class, I was for some reason very nervous. I do get this way. I do get nervous. When it comes, you just sort of have to ride it out. It goes away, provided there's no problems. If things flow smoothly, I relax in about a half hour.

I'm watching a movie right now. It's called, "Shall we Dance?" It was recommended to me by by the set designer from the White Countess. It seems very interesting. This movie is about a Japanese businessman who starts taking up ballroom dance when he's so bored going home every night on the train. So far I like it. However, "Strictly Ballroom" is the best dance movie I've ever seen. It's an Australian film.

So now, it looks like the dance will go well for the next couple of months. I am also working in a big party. Back in San Francisco, I used to hold big swing dance parties. My first swing dance party was a test of my own social accomplishment. OK, so I'm a nerd. But I wanted to prove that I was the King of the Nerds, or a least a Duke or something. So I held a party and invited everyone I knew from the swing dance world. This was back in the day when I had just moved to San Jose and I was still trying to establish myself. So, that first party was a test. How many dance nerds could I get to come?

As it was, Jimbo's Swingin' Party was a great success. I had all the tools and all the people and everything I needed.

So now, it's Spring Swing. I considered naming it, Jimbo's Swingin' Party again. But I think it's not appropriate, since I'm trying to promote swing dance, not Jimbo. So it's Spring Swing.

I've made a deal with a local venue. It's relatively new. It's a converted warehouse. On the third floor is a awesome party space. Enough for over 200 people. Beautiful, spacious, with a good allocation of room. I met with the owner of that place a few weeks ago. I told him what I was doing with swing dancing. He is from Hong Kong, and he said he respected my efforts. He said getting the converted warehouse set up was very challenging for him, and if I could be swing dancing in China for over a year without really even knowing the language, I must really be determined!

So he agreed to let us have his space. We''l split the profits (if any), and we don't have to pay any cash up front. It is nice to have someone in your organization who respects what you are doing on a philosophical basis, and he's willing to offer his space on the basis of that respect.

We've also got a bar partner, or a commitment from one. The bar partner is necessary because they have the legal ability to see tickets and provide alchohol to guests. I'd just as well do without the alchohol, but it's not a practical decision. We'll need to attract 250 people to this event. Not all of them will be dancers, and the non-dancers will want to get sauced. So be it.

OK, on to the thing which is bugging me the most right now. Things seem OK with my roommate at the moment. I was tempted to start seeking a place of my own to prevent having roommate issues anymore. But maybe that's a bad long-term strategy. I've noticed a pattern in my own problem solving methods. I do have a tendency to "exit". If things are uncomfortable, I will pick the 'get out' method. Applies to girlfriends most frequently. Other things too. I was tempted, strongly, to just get my own place after this most recent roommate issue. It's a struggle to decide. But I think that overall it's important I don't shut people out; at least not any more than I have done.

So, the real issue now is that I'm still involved with NEW GIRL, but she is younger than I thought. She originally told me her age, which made me say, "Oooph. Maybe a bad idea." But I went ahead anyhow. Then, she told me she was actually two years younger than that. She said she lies about he age because people don't take her seriously if she tells them the truth. I met her on the movie. She's been in a few small productions. She is also, I might add, about the most beautiful girl possible. All the beauty, personality, and shine of a person who is going places. And, as far as I can gather, from a well-to-do family.

Our personalities mesh. We do the same things. Two days ago she sent me a phone text message at 4:30 in the morning. She said she had been writing her book all night long and she was just getting ready to go to sleep. As it was, I had been planning my dance classes all night long, and I was awake to receive her message.

It's not just that. It's a lot of things. But she's just too young! I'm a bit distressed about it. I'm 35 now. I guess as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not young anymore. I'm middle. But I told her this, and I told her that she was too young for me, and we could not be together. She was not happy with this. She said, the Chinese say, Don't pay attention to wealth, don't pay attention to fame, don't pay attention to age, just pay attention to heart.

So my will is weak. I really think she'll be a big star some day. I suppose she thinks the same of me. But common sense says it's a bad idea. Yet, by days I have not yet left this one. Two weeks ago she got into a bad car accident. She was in northern China, looking for places to shoot an upcoming film. She and the people with her were in a van on a mountain road. As one can imagine, those roads are shit. Small, narrow dirt things. Her van hit another car which approached. She was hurt significantly. She said she was asleep for two days. I finally got her message after two days of silence. She said her head was wrapped up like a bunny (whatever that means). Finally, days after, she was back in Shanghai. She came to meet me, and she wore a mask to cover her mouth. (Such masks are relatively commonly worn by people to guard against the air pollution.) Vain, she is. She refused to let me see her face, which was still a little bruised, I thought.

Today we together went to the Shanghai Ocean Aquarium. She helped me learn: "Wo zhe ni paidan de shou". This means, "Hold your dance partner's hand".

And so it goes. Logically, it makes no sense.