The Wandering Monkey

After some amount of back-and-forth, I am happy to say that I have reached an acceptable agreement with the company in Beijing.  My start date will be very soon; within a week's time.  I'll be moving to Beijing for the foreseeable future.  (So Mom, please sell the car!)

 

The timing on this came down to the wire.  My visa expires at the end of this month, and I had set a last-possible-day deadline for myself.  Either find some sort of job in China, or start the US job search.  It would not have been bad to go to the US, but overall I would prefer to stay in China.

 

It is with some amount of sadness that I leave Shanghai.  It has been my home and my 'original' China city for almost four years.  I have a lot of background here, and I know a lot of people.  Plus, as I said before, many people have heard of me from the swing dancing, too.  Although I am not really that active in the swing dancing anymore, I invested a lot of my heart and energy into it.  It was my life for many years. 

 

A friend of mine recently said, "When first come to Shanghai, you can do just about anything.  You are getting your feet wet, so feel free to direct movies, teach English, start a company, or even do swing dancing.  But", he added, "I always thought you swung for about one year too long."

 

This may be so.  I spent the last year getting the club stable for my departure.  It's still running today, with the crew I set up originally.  I went to the dance party last night, and it was fun in part but awkward in part, too.  My ex- was there, and although we are on good terms it was our first time together in swing dance.  But overall it was good.  I had a decent time, and I was able to say goodbye to a few folks.  So, nice.

 

Now I begin an entirely new chapter.  There is a swing dance club in existance in Beijing.  My friend Adam started it at the same time I started one in Shanghai.  But he's running it just fine.  I won't have the time to commit to it like I used to, and I really am ready for something new.  I'll just join as a participant for the time being.

 

It's going to be a bit odd getting used to Beijing.  It's a little different from Shanghai.  And also, this gives me a chance (and, indeed, a reason) to drop some of my old bad habits.  Such as.... oh... computer games!  At least for some time, I'll need to stick to work, exploring Beijing, and making new friends.  Not a good time to lose my evenings and weekends to games.  Not right now.

 

With regards to the job, the aforementioned well-known US company is Microsoft.  I'll be working in their e-commerce division, and it is an exciting opportunity.  Their team is expanding, and there is a potential for promotion as time goes by.  There's also many quite decent benefits.  Overall, I am pleased with the offer and I am looking forward to this opportunity.  It's quite a thing.  I walk down the street sometimes and I think, Wow.

 

I think that is all there is to say for now.  I'll be living in temporary housing for about one month while I get situated and find a place of my own in Beijing.  So it's really happening.  A job with a future, and in China no less.  In probably two days I'll be on a plane to go there, so I'm packing today.

 

Nice!

-J

Hey Folks-

It is Sunday in Shanghai.  I'm waiting around a bit.  I'll be going to the outdoor swing dance in a few hours to say goodbye to the folks there.  One way or another, I will be leaving Shanghai within the week.  Either going to Beijing to work with this company, or back to the States if they cannot come up with an acceptable offer.  Things seem positive so far.  I've been (still) waiting for the HR person to come back from Vacation.  Lousy timing, that.  But I've got a chance to meet with some of my Shanghai friends and say goodbye properly.  Not fun business, saying goodbye.  But it's good to see them all.

 

Yesterday I went with my (recent) ex- to the Cirque du Soliel (sp?).  It's playing here in Shanghai.  Good show, really.  Acrobats, clowns, and all sorts of neat things.  A really impressive show.  It's the first one I've ever seen by that company.  I guess they have eight different groups touring the world right now, so good stuff.

 

I must admit I'm feeling a bit of anxiety.  Going to Beijing will be a good opportunity career-wise, but it's not my home.  There's so much history here in Shanghai.  Just last night I went to dinner with my ex-, a friend who recently moved from Beijing, and a friend of his.  Halfway through the dinner, the waiter asked, Are you the guy who teaches swing dancing?  Turns out the waiter had worked at a previous place where we held a party.  It's really neat running into things like that.  About a month ago, I was also out with the ex- at a small games bar (board games and such).  A guy was playing Settlers of Catan, which is a huge game in my group back in the States.  It is the first game set I've ever seen in Shanghai, so I was watching and trying to explain the rules to my girl.

 

About five minutes into it, one of the players said, Maybe you can put on some swing music?  I thought I did not hear him right.  I asked, Why do you know about that?  He said, Oh, you're Jimbo.  You do the swing dancing and also danced the Monkey King on TV.  You're the next big star!

 

Chris hates when stuff like that happens.  She always says, How come they never remember ME?  I love it, personally.  It gives me a sense of continuity.  A sense of accomplishment at pride.  I don't see that sort of thing happening in Beijing.  I'm going to be just another foreigner.

 

But in all honesty, I was never able to turn the name-and-face recognition into something financially feasible.  I suppose if I were a show business minded person, I could have.  I suppose I still have an opportunity or a chance to do so.  But if I go to work in Beijing, that's going to be the end of that, at least for two years.  After such time, who knows?

 

I've been SAYING I'm going to write a book on the Shanghai Swings experience.  People I talk to think it's a good idea, and say it's probably a good sell.  I have been taking notes and writing character interaction charts and plotlines.  I haven't really been doing much WRITING day to day, however.  It's a hard thing to do a writing project.  A very lonely experience, and it takes a lot of time.  Plus, unlike the blog, there's no immediate interraction by people.  They dont send you and email commenting on what's been going on, or even know about it.  With a book you have to wait until it's entirely finished.

 

Still, I like the idea.  It will give me something to show for my time here.

 

My ex- and I had not talked for several weeks.  I broke it off with here while I was in Beijing, and thought it would be a good idea to take some time off from contact.  Besides, I am either moving to Beijing or the US in about a week.  Either way you look at it, there's a big problem.  I suppose she would have considered moving to Beijing with me.  If I had no doubts (or just reasonable doubts) about our relationship, I would have considered that.  As it stands from our conversation yesterday, she seems to understand a lot more about the concerns I have in the relationship.  She's knowing a lot more about my personality and her own, as well.  However, it is a bit of bad timing.  I'm heading out to somewhere very soon.

 

I think in the long term there is still a possibility.  I can't say for sure.  I'm not a young young man, anymore.  I'm not an old-old man, either.  I'm a young middle aged man.  How about that?  I'm not so convinced about the merits of marriage and children, but I have thought about it more recently.  The big 4-0 is coming up in a few years.  I think that before that time would probably be a good idea.  But there's not much time before that, is there?  You can't start and develop a relationship and know what its going to be like without spending at least a year with someone.  And sometimes, that's not enough time, either.

 

I should not worry too much.  These things have a way of working themselves out.  But I want to plan ahead, you know.  I want to make good decisions, and practical decisions, too.

 

Overall, I like China.  I would rather be in Shanghai if I could, but Beijing has most of what I like about Shanghai.  If I must go back to the States, it won't be the worst thing in the world, of course.  Last time I was back I did not exactly have "fun", but it was good seeing the family again.

 

So, that's about it for now.  In two days I will have my answer from the Beijing company, and I'll definitely give a holler about what happens.

 

Peace,

-J

Hello Folks-

The news is, the company in Beijing has stated they want to hire me.  It's not a done deal yet; I am still negotiating for a suitable package.  But I sent them my last offer, which is pretty much my 'final' offer, and the HR person says it sounds reasonable and they will probably be able to meet it.

 

The person in charge is on vacation next week, so I will not have an answer until then.  That kind of sucks, because my visa expires at the end of July and I need to be ready to go back to the US if for some reason the job does not work out.  I think it will, but in hiring you never know what can happen.  I'm keeping the champagne on ice for the moment.

 

In other news, what other news?  Not too much else to report.  I'm spending the week in Shanghai relaxing and meeting with my old friends.  Not much going on.  I'd really rather just get to work right away rather than wait a week, but it's not such a bad thing.

 

So, if this deal closes, I'll be moving to Beijing within a two weeks.  I'll have a temporary housing situation until I can find a permanent place.  At the point where the offer is 'real', I'll post what details I can.  I think it is unlucky to talk to much about a deal until it has been closed.  Same thing as if you have a hot date coming up.  Better not to talk about it beforehand.  I don't know why.  I'm not superstitious, but I think it's something psychological.  It's bad to get your expectations up too much, because it leaves you mentally unprepared to handle those problems which can (and will) arise.

 

Overall, I prefer Shanghai to Beijing.  The people in Shanghai are more open and friendly towards foreigners (i.e.: me).  But in Beijing everyone speaks the same language, Mandarin.  In Shanghai they all speak Mandarin, but they have their own dialect of Shanghainese.  You can't understand it if you are a Mandarin speaker.

 

One thing I will miss is when I am walking down the street and I see an old friend.  Every week I run into someone I have not seen in some years.  It's a little like a 'club', being a foreigner.  You tend to give each other the time of day, much moreso than you would back in your home country.

 

So, things are looking positive.  I am, as they say, cautiously optimistic.

 

Peace out,

-J

Today I had a phone interview for a job in Beijing with a well-known American company.  Its the job in my specialty field.  The first thing the interviewer said was, "Well, if you are talking to me that's good news already."

 

It was a one-hour interview, during which the expected questions were asked regarding my technical specialty, my approaches to work, and my ability to speak Chinese (which is considered an 'extra' rather than a prerequisite in this case.)  At one point, the interviewer asked a question about the 'highest-level' meeting I have ever had to present.  I gave him an example from my Silicon Valley days, in which I met with the heads of IT from two different merging companies.  Taking into account the sensitive nature of the topic and the personalities of the people involved, I arranged them around the table so that the most quiet member was located in the center.  I ran through the plan for which applications we could keep, and which ones we would replace.  And, I told the interviewer, I arranged to have a pizza delivered about 1 1/2 hours into the meeting.  It was around lunch time, so everyone would be hungry.  Plus, I anticipated that by this point the tensions would have raised pretty high.  I figured the extra blood sugar would help everyone, and when the pizza arrived (which was a surprise to everyone) I said, "OK, no more talk about work.  Lunch time!"

 

In fact, they did continue to talk about work, but at a much relieved pace.  It was during this time that the solutions actually came about.  Everyone sat back a bit and agreed to the general plan.

 

The interviewer said, "That's the best answer I've ever heard to that question.  And I've interviewed thousands of people!"

 

This seems to be a good sign.  Of course, nothing is for certain.  Even if the people like you and you fit the position, schedules and budgets can change at the last minute.  You never really know what will happen for sure.

 

My visa is expiring in 20 days from now.  This has been my personal deadline for stay-or-go.  So in the end, when I was to ask questions, first I asked about the technologies the job would be using.  Then I asked, what is your time frame on making a decision, one way or the other?

 

He said it would be 3-4 days, and I would hear an answer either way.  This is a very imporant courtesy that most interviewers don't do anymore.  When I was out of college, you could expect a rejection letter or an acceptance letter if you have an interview.  But in the past several years, if the news is bad, you don't hear anything at all.  This is of course worse, because you can be waiting around for something which does not happen.

 

So that's the story.  I was very excited after the interview, and I've been chilling out for a few hours.  So now I'm going to get some rest.  I think I will be heading back to Shanghai very soon, because I've done what I came to Beijing for.  Whether I get the job or not, I have to be back in Shanghai because all my stuff is there and my apartment is there.

 

More updates in 3-4 days!

-J

This is a bit different from the usual entries.  I had been dating my dance partner, Chris, for a long time.  We were together in Shanghai for about a year and a half, then when I returned to the US I broke it off after a few months.

 

When I got back to Shanghai, I realized I still had feelings for her.  At the time, she said she had moved on, which I took as a bit of a small shock, but I decided that it would be best to accept it.  I had, in fact, been the one to break it off.

 

In time, however, we did get back together again.  But after a few months, the problems which had been there before were there again.  It is a bit sad, in its way, because I would have really liked a different ending to this.  I broke it off with her again, and I think this time is different.  She is not happy with this, of course, and I can't blame her.  I feel guilty for asking her out again, then dropping it, again.

 

In the long run, I think it is the right thing to do, but it does not feel very good.  She's quite upset with me.  We are going to stay out of contact for a while.  Not too hard, since I am in Beijing and she in Shanghai.  The sad thing of it all, is she is my stongest supporter in many ways.  Up until now, she's probably the person I could count on for just about anything.  Our problems instead stemmed from a difference of personality, or several differences.  It really is too bad.

 

FYI, I am in Beijing and I did arrange to get the on-site interview with the company I was trying to contact.  I think the interview went well, and now I am waiting for a follow-up phone interview.  I hope I get the position, of course.  If I do, I will move to Beijing as soon as can be arranged.  If I don't, it's pretty likely I'll be back in the States.  Right now in my career I need to find a position which broadens my skill base.  And so on, and so on.

 

Sometimes I think about it.  I'm 37 now and not married.  Most of my friends are married with kids already.  And there's a certain practical nature.  You don't want to be the 60 year old with the 20 year old kid, but that's what I'm in line for if I ever to get married.  Sometimes I think I am not the marrying type.  I am, by some descriptions, a difficult person to get close to.  I'd say this is true.  Sometimes I think I'd be better off a lifelong bachelor.  I do respect my other friends who are married with kids, but I don't envy any of their situations.  I don't visit them and see their lives and say, "Hey, that's what I want."

 

Breaking off with Chris is a dissapointment in many ways, but it has me thinking.  I suppose right now it is just as well to continue to focus on work.  I do need to get a stable job going.  The swing dancing thing was fun (mostly), and it did get me to a new place in life, but I am really ready for the next stage.  What that is exactly, I'm not sure.  But I am sure ready to get back to work.  From then, I will have options and can make some choices.

 

All for now.  Hope you are all well out there (all two of you!)

 

Last note, regarding swing.  I have pretty much stopped all of my involvement in the swing group.  I had a falling out of sorts with the woman who I appointed to manage it.  I intended to remain in charge, with her managing all day to day activities and me overseeing it.  As such, she was not happy with the arrangement.  I did consider trying to wrest control back. I thought about this quite a lot.  Emotionally, it's what I wanted to do.  But practically, it was not feasible.  It's not a money making enterprise.  It *does* take a great deal of time.  And most of all, I have no guarantee I will be able to remain in Shanghai to oversee it if I did take over.  All I would be doing is disrupting the society and possibly causing it to break down.  But now, especially with the break with my former dance partner, I really don't see myself being able to go at all.

 

In the end, I think there are good things to come of this.  I am happy the society is continuing.  This means what I put in place has made a mark on society.  In its own small way, perhaps making the world a better place.  I also can be proud that the systems, training, and methods I put in place were reliable.  So reliable, in fact... well you know.

 

In the end, I think a great deal about the help my former assistant manager gave to me.  She was a volunteer for two and a half years.  My most reliable person, and about the seventh regular student we ever had.  She was also a confidant; I told her many stories and personal things.  An ear to listen, if you will.  And, she is continuing my work, so there is some comfort in that.  We are presently on cordial terms, and I'm not even in Shanghai anymore, so things will all work out fine.

 

Perhaps you are wondering about Beijing.  How is it different than Shanghai?  Well, it, too, has a swing dance club.  As a matter of fact, right now I am staying in the apartment of the founder of Swing Beijing.  He's off to Herrang, Sweden, for a five-week swing dance camp.  i'm here, in his apartment, waiting for my next interview and looking around Beijing in the meanwhile.  I think I could be perfectly happy here, provided I have the job of course.

 

That is all for now.  Again, hope you are all well. 

 

Peace out,

-J