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For three years, I have been in China teaching Swing Dancing. Now I'm wandering yet again...
2004-11-05
Another trip to the movies
Since the movie filming has ended, it's been a bit of a blah point. I've had the troubles with the Sunday night swing venue. That was some serious stress. It has fortunately worked out OK, so we can continue to dance there. I'm glad, because the swing dance 'movement' can't live without a venue and we've been running out of choices. Plus, I'd sold a month of classes and this problem happened in the second week of the first month! So the swing dance venue is ours and we live to fight another day.
There were some pretty bad days during this time. It seemed like for a while everything with swing dancing was just not working out properly. I began to think that someone else in my position could have been doing this better. I wondered if I am a qualified teacher to take on such a task, and so forth. But when you're in the attack of doubt, these are not just simple passing thoughts that you can just disregard. They are beliefs, things which you hold to be true. Even if you can logically say to yourself, I know that next week things will all look better, it's no comfort on the current day, in the moment.
To deal with this I have just learned that you have to have perseverence. Some people have jobs which they find fun all the time. Some people will do a job and they will keep at it for years, then they'll quit all of the sudden claiming something like, "It wasn't fun anymore." Well, I don't know about you but I've never had a job that was fun all the time. Hell, not even half of the time. Every project of any length I've ever undertaken has always become work and tedium at some point. My approach to this is to accept that no matter what you are undertaking, at some point you will no longer feel like doing it. If you want to get anything accomplished in the long run, you must just continue even if you don't want to.
The other day was the beginning of the month and I went through my finances as I sometimes do. I figured at my current lifestyle I have two months worth of expenses currently available in cash. I decided that this is a good benchmark to keep. I should always have two months of expenses in cash on hand. So this means I've got to start earning some cash to keep me at that level. I was worried for a while. I thought I'd have to take a corporate job again. Not that this is the worst thing in the world, but it took a lot to leave that in the first place. As luck would have it... two projects have come up which should take care of things for the time being.
The first is a little trade show in a nearby town which will pay a little pocket cash -- enough for rent plus utilities.
The second thing is even better. The people from the White Countess movie have called me back. They want me to join on their production for another dance sequence they are shooting late Nov to mid Dec. There is something like 13 days of dancing plus a week of rehersals. This is quite good. It means I'll have something to do in the days again, and some cash for expenses, and another opportunity at a exposure and experience in an interesting field. I called my friend, the actress from Beijing, and told her about the shoot. So she'll be able to participate like she wanted. And yesterday I ran into a girl never got to dance in the first shoot becase of illness, so she can be a part of the new scene as well.
For my part in the movie, I don't know if I'll be dancing in the scenes or just helping with training and advising. I think I could change my hairstyle and clothes and wear glasses and no one would recognize me if I was just dancing in the background. Who knows what will happen. There's so much unpredictability. But I'm looking forward to getting more involved. I could deal with being an actor for a while. Here in Shanghai that's a definite possibility for someone in my position.
And, on another odd note: tonight I went out with a drink after my Mandarin language lesson. I said hello to the guy sitting alone at the bar next to me, and I'm chatting with him and asking him what he's up to here. It turns out he works for the same company that I used to work for back in San Jose. They have something like 28 branches out here in Shanghai alone, so if I ever want a real job I know where to start looking!
-J
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