The Wandering Monkey

Roaches
(Odd subject but these are important things in the life of Shanghai.)
Granted, I know I am living in a low-rent neighborhood. Granted, the folks do not keep it clean outside, and various bad smells exude as you approach the dumpster area by the front gate. I've been struggling with my hate of this area and weighing it against the low cost to live there. It's a bit of a necessity right now, since I'm still just doing swing dancing and I'm not willing to go get another part time job for fear it will ruin my time and energy for dancing.
But once inside the apartment, the place is not so bad. The floors are wood, there's a big TV in my room, and I just bought a DVD player with the income recently generated by parties, so there's entertainment at home.
So I got home after a long day, and I'm ready to head into the shower. I'm barefoot, wearing a towel, and HOLY SHIT! It's the biggest roach I have ever seen outside of a zoo. It was fully one inch long, and one half in across at the carapace. It was at least one third of an inch thick, too. It was crawling down from behind the medicine cabinet, face down towards the floor, and it stopped as I entered. It had long feelers, too, each over an inch long, and it seemed to be nonchalantly surveying the area.
My first instinct was to kill it. Actually, my first instinct was to jump and say, Holy Shit! But after that I'm thinking of how I would kill such a big critter. I didn't have any shoes on (nor clothes for that matter), so I thought perhaps I would get my shoe and smack it with the heel. But then I though, this thing has some significant mass on it. If I smacked it, I'd have to spend a good amount of time cleaning the creavaces of my shoe and taking the mess off the wall. Damn, where's bug spray when you need it?
After some more contemplation the thing seemed to become aware of me, then it crawled down the wall, only to soon fall and land on the floor amoungst the random stuff there. So now I'm like "DOH!" and since I'm barefoot I'm quickly hopping out of the room. I get into my own room and put on my shoes, because I don't want to do combat with this thing barefoot. Then I'm looking around for something to kill it with. I can't find anything. I need something least three feet long with a broad base on it.
Finally I go back into the bathroom and there's the plunger there. I take it, and the critter (I will call him 'Ralph') runs into a corner made by the wall and the outside of the bathtub basin. I try to get at Ralph, but the round plunger doesn't quite reach the square corner. It seems like Ralph has had enough of this game, and he makes a run for it. He goes towards the exit, past me, and I'm still too skittish and I jump out of the way. Besides where can he go? How can something so big hide? I ask myself.
But he goes right up the wall and slips into the crack between the wall and the kitchen cabinet.
Out of sight out of mind. Live and let live. Or something like that. So I just go on with my shower, but now I don't feel so relaxed anymore. I just hope Ralph finds himself a new home. Otherwise, the least he should do is start paying his share of the rent.