The Wandering Monkey

Today I think I have met the first Chinese girl I really am attracted to in a way that has some long term potential. She is quite striking, smart, and interesting. Also very tall for a Chinese girl, about 5'7 or 5'8. Another major positive, she does not frequent the bar scene. (I think it would be far too much work to try to hold onto such a girl who is always out and drinking.) I don't know if its going to go anywhere. So far we're just talking and exchanging language teaching. I'm not going to press this situation. We'll just see if something happens.
Today was the first class I taught on my own. It really is so much easier for me this way. I went for four hours today and I was not nearly as tired or frazzled as I had been before.
Wow, last night I did not feel good. I got into a fit of worrying and feeling very homesick. I woke up this morning in a not positive mood. It wasn't until just after lunch that I felt better, and after teaching class I felt reaffirmed that I am where I am supposed to be. Sometimes I just get into a frame of mind and I don't want to deal with the challenge of being out here. I wish I could say I was always 'brave' and never felt this way, but that's not the case. And when it's like that, you have to just look at it and try to figure out, Should I really go back? or Should I just accept this as part of the difficulty of what I am trying to do? I'm glad its over. So long as I don't give myself too much time to think about things it seems to flow a lot more smoothly.
My #1 task now is getting a positive cash flow (I must sound like a broken record). As part of that I'm moving to a cheaper place. My next days will be looking at apartments.
Peace,
-J