The Wandering Monkey

My feeling is that the Shanghai Lindy Exchange will be possible, and it will take place in Fall of 2003. I do believe this is a very good thing. Lindy Hop has meant a lot to me. On some days where I was having just a terrible time, I always found that dancing made me feel better. And the other dancers formed the center of my social life in California as well. I think it is one of the best aspects of American culture and it things would be better in the the world if it were here as well.
Both my dance partner and I are surprised at how far we have made it at this point. We've been at it about three months now, and people in China and all over the world are taking note. Really, it is just a good idea at a good time. I can't say we were the first to think of it, though! Our friend Adam in Beijing already started Swing Beijing a few months before we did. But we were the first in Shanghai to do it, and hopefully we can all cooperate to push it as far as possible.

About two years ago, things were looking rather grim in my own life. Three things all hapened at once: the end of a very significant relationship, a major job crisis, and a major housing crisis. Actually, they all happened within one week. It was just so odd, to say the least. The stress of the break-up was by far the hardest to handle. I had been in many relationships before, but I had never decided I wanted to commit to someone. Never found someone who really impressed me, someone I found interesting enough to see an exciting future for as far as I could see. There were of course problems. There always are. But acknowledging that I wanted to pair up with someone then having it quickly fall apart really challenged me. The thing I could not quite understand is why it was quite so difficult to handle. I could understand three months, perhaps six, but this just lingered on for over a year. About as long as the relationship itself.

The experience did give me a lot of perspective. I looked at other people who had been perhaps married for five or more years who then get divorced. Or how about even longer? I met folks who told me their own stories, and I could just not imagine how much worse it was for them. It also told me another thing. Trust your first instinct when it comes to people. If you feel it is not right, don't try to make it right. There's some song which goes, "If it don't fit, don't force it."

But now with the major life change and so many new and positive opportunities, the old phase of my life has ended. I am in a very new place, and I really am not the same person I had been. In many ways, yes, but an experience like this will change a person. I needed something new, I needed a challenge, and I needed to succeed at that challenge to reasure myself I was capable of handling things.

So now here I am. Not long ago was my 34th birthday. When people guess my age, everyone says I look younger. 28 or so. This is fine, no problem by me. A lot of people think that this is a good age to settle down with someone. Mostly it is younger folks who think so. But I think about how much it took to commit the first time, and I don't see how that's going to happen under my current circumstances. Getting involved with anyone out here would create a whole bunch of difficulties. Eventually I see myself back in America. I'm going to spend a year out here, but after that I may decide to stay or move again. If I'm happy I'll stay. But a lot can happen in a year. We'll have to see.

Every now and then I think of my friends back in California. Or my family back in the Illinois. I imagine that the California folks will keep going their own ways. Many of them will move, get new jobs, marry, or whatever. In about two or three years everyone will have evolved so much that returing there would almost be like starting over again. If there were a good job opportunity then it would make a lot of sense. But there's not much point in returning to the area again without a new tangible reason.

Going back to Illinois is an option, but damn that place is cold in the winter. I never liked the cold. Shanghai is cold, too, but at the worst it hovers around freezing. In Illinois the temperature gets so cold you cannot breathe through your nose without a scarf or your snot will freeze. I am not kidding. You feel it solidfy. On days like that, I asked myself many times, 'Why would an evolved species choose to live here?"

I am interested in getting involved in something with media. That's about the only thing which pops into my head which gives me some excitement. Back in college I wrote a bit for the school paper and hosted a live news radio program. I got a lot out of that. I spent all sorts of time preparing and studying it, very much like I work on creating the Lindy Hop scene in China today. But that's not necessarily the type of thing you can just walk into. It is a lot easier in China, let me assure you. Perhaps if I keep meeting people eventually I'll find the right one.

Barring that, I would want to take a job which is more people-oriented. I'm sure that organizing a Lindy Exchange in China will give me a lot of insight and experience.

All for now. I'm going to make some e-mails to a few old friends.
-J